I Will Remember Her

I will remember her the way she was before; before Alzheimer's took away her smile, her laughter, her strength, and her words. 

She was and still is the sweetest, most gentle person I have ever known.  She was kind and would never hurt anyone. I remember these things now, but I took them for granted when I was a child.  I thought all moms were like her.

The only time she sat down was when we had company and she sat to visit with them.  She could hardly finish a meal without getting up to serve someone seconds, or refill a glass of tea.  Her kitchen was the place she seemed most comfortable; it was where she belonged, surrounded by her family.   She never complained about the long hours she had to work to feed, clothe, and take care of us, but I'm sure she must have gone to bed exhausted every night. 

She was beautiful; slender, with a lovely face and dark curls.  She bore all five of us children without the help of modern medicine.  She nursed us and diapered us in cloth diapers.  She was physically, emotionally, and spiritually strong.  She always knew what to do and kept a level head.  I always felt safe when I was with her.

Her one ambition was to be a good wife and mother.  She liked school and encouraged us to read and work hard in school, but she had no aspirations of her own.  There never seemed to be time for hobbies or entertainment.  Although, she did take up quilting after we were grown and gone, and her quilts became her most prized possession.

She loved her husband and showed him honor.  They were married for over 60 years and it was beautiful to see them together.  A personal struggle of hers was forgiveness.  Once she swore to never polish Daddy's shoes again after he criticized the way she did it.  She had a hard time forgiving anyone who hurt one of her children.

These are the things I remember about my Mom; her love for her family, her humility, and her kindness.  And this is how I will remember her.

The Power of Love

Keyon looked to be about 10 or 11 years old.  He had a stick in his hand which  he was tapping on the sidewalk and everything about him; his facial expression, his posture, and  his slow pace made me think he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. But I was about to witness the transforming power of God's love.  I did not hesitate.  He was the one I was supposed to give the "gift" to.

Earlier that morning at Sunday worship service I heard a message from a man who serves in the Gideon International Ministry, an organization that distributes Bibles all over the world.  He shared stories of people whose lives were changed when they picked up a copy of the Bible and read about God's wonderful love. As I listened, I wondered to myself about my life and what was I doing for the kingdom of God.  What is my ministry?  What is my calling?  Do I have a purpose?  While I contemplated these questions, our pastor challenged us to take a Gideon New Testament and give it to someone; someone that God would place in our path. So I went forward, reached in the basket and took a New Testament, praying the whole time that God would show me who needed this New Testament.

I prayed again in my car as I drove home and there he was; looking lost and forsaken.  I pulled my car over and rolled down the window.  He walked over to my car and I ask him,"Is everything Okay?"

 "My Mom needs $45 by tomorrow to pay our rent at the motel and I have knocked on every door on this street asking if they have any work that I can do."  He said his name was Keyon and he and his mother and his little brother had just moved here and they were staying in one of the local motels that rent by the week. He was tired of being turned away and he needed a friendly face, someone to take an interest in him.  He needed God, our Father's love.

My heart went out to him.  I picked up the New Testament and placed it in his hand.  "I have a gift for you." I said.  His face lite up and he smiled, " Oh, I've been wanting a new Bible: mine got left behind when we moved from St. Louis."  I showed him in the front of the Bible that it showed you where to look for a verse when you are lonely or when you are afraid.

I had $20 in my purse so I gave it to him.  "Maybe this will help."  He was so grateful; He thanked me politely over and over.

Before I left, I asked. "Can I pray with you?"  He nodded yes and bowed his head.
"Dear God, please help Keyon and his mother and his brother.  Keep them safe and provide for their needs.  Help Keyon as he knocks on doors, lead him to the house of someone who will let him earn enough money to pay their rent."

As I waved goodbye my heart overflowed with joy, joy that God had used me to bring hope to a little boy who had nearly given up on hope.  Keyon and I were two people whose paths crossed momentarily. I could have driven right on past him, but God in his love ordained an encounter.  Keyon was reminded that there are people who care and I was reminded that God does have a purpose for my life. As his child, I am called to love others.  1 John 4:19 says it best.

"We love because he first loved us."

Insights from the movie, Room

Just like Jack in the movie, Room, we too, are born into a 10x10 shed.  Like him, we are limited by our own ignorance of the world that waits outside our four walls.  We are childlike, dependent on our creator for all that we need much like Jack was completely dependent on his mother to give him food, to take care of him and to explain things to him.  She was the voice in his head that told him stories of all that existed outside "Room".  She was his skylight, his opening to see beyond this life and the hope of something wonderful and exciting and meaningful on the other side of his four walls.

The "Room" we are born into is our physical life here on planet earth.  It can be beautiful or it can be terrifying.  "Room" is the place common to all of us.  But, Jack was not alone, and neither are we.  God did not just drop us into this life and leave us to try and figure things out.  No, he is present with us in this "Room"; present by his Holy Spirit and his own son can to live  here with us to show us the way out.  Through him, we can escape this prison of sin.

Right now, we are still in "Room", but we have hope; hope of a new life that is eternal, perfect, unflawed, and without any fear or harm.  And best of all, we have someone who loves us very much, who will tell us the truth about our situation, and gives us the courage to do what seems impossible. 

MY BIBLES

I bought myself a new Bible.  It's a English Standard Version Ryrie Study Bible.  I like all the study notes, charts, diagrams, and etc. that you get with a Study Bible even though it does increase it's weight and size.  Our pastor uses the ESV and apparently it is supposed to be closest to the original in translation.

I got the genuine leather binding and hopefully my new Bible will  hold up better than my last  which was The Defender Study Bible KJV.  The Defender is the most well-used of all my Bibles.  Nearly every page has verses underlined or highlighted and I have made notes in the margins.  It has been my Bible for the past 15 years, but the pages are literally falling out.  I keep it in a Bible case and still use it often because I know right where to find verses in it. 

Before the Defender KJV, I used the NIV Study Bible.  It was a gift from Larry, Christmas 1990.  I love this one because it is where I recorded our family records like births, deaths, and marriages.  It was also the Bible I used to read through the Bible in a year.

The Bible I used before the NIV was the New American Standard.  It was a gift from our Sunday School teachers when Larry and I were still newlyweds.  It is not a Study Bible, but it has a good concordance and chain references. 

I also have a beautiful blue leather KJV Bible that was a gift from my college roommate, Anna.  It's small and compact, which is probably the reason Phil used it when he was a teenager.  I keep it on my desk at work now and pick it up occasionally when I have time to read.  This was my Bible when I first read through the gospel of John in one setting.  The whole book, from start to finish, and it changed my life.  It was just the beginning of a life-long love for God's Word. 

I can't really say that any one of these Bibles is my favorite.  I have felt the power of the Holy Spirit speaking to me through all of them.  I believe that God's Word is powerful, no matter what translation.  Each of these Bibles has added to the treasury of knowledge of God's Word.  It is through the Bible that we come to know God and what he is like.  It's all in his Word: his love for his creation, his plan of redemption to save us, his sacrificial love in Jesus Christ who gave his life that we might live, his promise of eternal life for all who believe. 

"Oh how I love your law!  It is my meditation all the day."  Psalm 119: 97

Does God Keep Our Tears in a Bottle?

It was a tearful day.  I had cried when a moving song came on the radio.  It was about the plight we feel as Christians living as strangers in the World; that feeling of not belonging and longing for a place we can call home.  I had cried at the news of the death of my cousin, Jackie; thinking of his family and feeling the loss that they are  feeling, crying out to God for comfort and mercy.  I had cried because everything I know and love is changing and I have to figure out who I am supposed to be.

All day long I had felt the weight of sadness and despair; like a dark cloud that blocked my ability to see anything good or positive.  So, after work, God and I took a walk and the pent-up frustration that I had felt all day was released in a torrent of tears as I poured out my heart to him.  The tears welled up and ran down my cheeks and all my longing was fulfilled, and all my sorrow was washed away, and all my fears and disappointments disappeared in the love that flowed from God's heart to mine.

My tears brought an immediate release of the stress and frustration that I felt, but I wondered, "Do my tears have an eternal purpose?" 

In Psalm 56:8 we read, "You have kept count of my tossings; put my tears in your bottle.  Are they not in your book?"

Imagine that!  God keeps a record of my tears.  He hears my cries, sees my tears, and remembers them.  I am uncertain about whether he keeps them in a bottle or not, but perhaps he does.  At any rate, he knows every tear that I have cried.  And that, my friend, makes me feel better.  My tears are not wasted.  They are important to God

Why I work in Awana

AWANA stands for (approved workman are not ashamed); it is an acronym for the verse found in II Timothy 2:15, study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.  AWANA is a children's Bible memory program.  We meet on Wednesday nights for story time, game time and memory verse time. For the past 11 years I have served as an adult leader for the AWANA program at our church.

Last Wednesday night Lillie's mom came into our classroom to tell me that Lillie is going to be baptized in a couple of weeks.  She thought that I might want to know about Lillie's decision.  Nearly two years ago, Lillie was in my Kindergarten AWANA class.  We were in our small groups doing memory verses and right out of the blue, Lillie started asking me all kinds of questions about heaven and how she could be saved.  So I asked her, "Would you like to do that right now?"  She said, "Yes".  Our group held hands and prayed the Sinner's Prayer.  Together we acknowledged that we are sinners who need a savior.  We confessed that we believe that Jesus is God's son and he alone can save us from our sins.  We ask him to forgive us of our sins and come into our hearts.  Then we thanked him for saving us. 

Lillie was saved that night.  She told her mom, "That's when it happened for me."

And that's why I work in  AWANA.

CYCLES

Life is a series of cycles; things that happen over and over again.  The best example is, of course, the calendar cycle; a year-long cycle of 365 days with four seasons, various weather patterns, and temperature changes.  Other examples are the water cycle, growing seasons, reproductive cycles, and ocean tides.  Even History is said to repeat itself.  We can find cycles nearly everywhere we look. 

Another cycle that I discovered is the "cycle of disobedience".  The Israelites disobeyed God; He allowed their enemies to overcome them; they cried out for help; He heard their cries and rescued them; but then they would turn from God and sin  again.  In Judges 2 we find an example.

• Judges 2:11  and the children of Israel did evil in the sight of  the Lord.....
• Judges 2:14  and the anger of the Lord was hot against Israel and he delivered them into the hands of the spoilers.....
• Judges 2:15  .....and they were greatly distressed.
• Judges 2:16  nevertheless the Lord raised up judges which delivered them.....
• Judges 2:17  and yet they would not harken.....

The "cycle of disobedience" is seen through out the Old Testament: in Judges 4, Judges 6, Judges 10, II Kings 13, and Nehemiah 9. 

I, too, have experienced this "cycle of disobedience" in my own life.  Over and over again, I find my self dealing with a problematic sin, like negative, critical speech.  The words just  pop out of my mouth.  And before I know, I have said hurtful things.   I pray, ask for forgiveness, and for a while I guard my words and hold my tongue.  God is gracious, He hears my prayer and forgives my sin.  But, inevitably, I find that I have to deal with my negative, critical speech again.

Conquering sin is an ongoing process for the believer.  Through this process, God allows me to see myself for who I am and to see that I need a savior.  He is the potter and I am the clay.

So, don't  be discouraged if you find yourself dealing with the same sin over and over again.  Instead, rejoice that God is working in you to conform you to the image of his Son, Jesus.

God's purpose is to make us holy and without blame before him in love. (Ephesians 1:4)  We may not get it right the first time, but we can know that he will continue his work in us, not matter how many times it takes.  In 1 Thessalonians 5:23-24, we read these words, "And the very God of peace sanctify you wholly; and I  pray God your whole spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.  Faithful is he that calleth you who also will do it."